Norton on Porn
In Jim Norton’s comedy it is har to say which came first: the joke or the porn. He’s a favortie of the adult biz, and it is easy to see why. His stand-up is like a confession at porn purveyor convention. So here’s a look at how his gags get the stars all choked up on laughter, and whatever else.
“I saw my girlfriend fooling around with another guy. I almost fell off the ladder jerking off.”
Everyone knows how awful my ex-girlfriend is. If I want to send her a letter, all I have to do is write ‘Cunt’ on the envelope and drop it in the mailbox.
“If you’re going to stalk a woman, trust me; pick one who lives on the first floor. It’s very hard to be discreet when you’re sneaking around with chloroform and a ladder.”
“I’m starting to think my roommate is gay because he doesn’t hit me anymore when I grab his ass.”
“Montreal holds a special place in my heart, it’s where my father did his tour of duty during the Viet Nam War. He was a brave man; defending Canada from all those French invaders.”
“I got in trouble at the border. I didn’t want to say I was working or I’d have to pay taxes. I was supposed to say, ‘I’m going to visit a friend,’ but I got nervous and it came out like, ‘I’m smuggling heroin in my anus.’ He took me inside and strip -searched me, thank God. Most people don’t like cavity searches, I love them. While he was back there probing around I would look at him and say, ‘Ha! You’re not even close! You’ll never find it!’”
