Real Doll vs. Girlfriend
While surfing the net the other day I ran across a slew of reviews for “Love Dolls” at an adult toy review site. With no offense to those readers who may have achieved some form of self-actualization through use of these things, I’ve always found them to be a little creepy. Fine for stag parties, but if used for anything other than comedic effect, a little Dhamer-esque, if you know what I mean.
But I was intrigued because I had heard Howard Stern mention on several occasions a “Real Doll” that he kept in his studio, which, according to him and others on his program, was the most lifelike doll on the market. And for six thousand bucks, it had better be.
The nice thing about the “Real Doll,” (according to what I read, mind you) is in addition to the three-hole penetration options (mouth, ass, vagina) and lifelike silicon construction (made from real body molds), they are flexible, meaning you can put “her” in any position. You can also customize her to your personal preferences (dark skin, light skin, big boobs, blonde hair, Asian, etc.). So, now my analytical mind is reeling. Let’s see, if I were weighing the pros and cons of dating vs. purchasing a Real Doll, it might looks something like this:
Real Doll has just added an “eye-closing” feature that enables you to close the doll’s eyes using pullies accessible at the base of the skull. Just when it seemed appealing it gets a little creepy again. If they really wanted to make the dolls “real,” why not add an annoyingly high pitched, whiney voicebox that randomly generates comments like, “I want a Mercedes,” and “That belt doesn’t match your shoes,” or “Take out the garbage.” It would be enough to make you want to stuff her in the closet and go out to some singles bar.
